BEST POLICY
The shrinks were right; it was his mother's fault—
she who, coffining her 150 IQ,
chirped in the church choir, believing
every love-thy-neighbor lie. It was her fault
he told Miss Pipkin what he really thought
of "To a Waterfowl"—his mother's fault
that he showed Fev, his teddy bear,
to teammates on the Pee Wee Pirates,
and when Susie Chu swore the yellow
Chinese mustard was candy, gulped
a spoonful of the flaming glop. Mom's fault too
that, when the drunk rear-ended him,
he didn't hire a second lawyer to pry
insurance money from the first—
that, when Judy asked if she looked fat
in her blue dress, he said, "You're not a skinny
girl," and thought "I like that about you,"
made it good. Small wonder he quit
voting—snarled at each new scandal, "What
do you expect?"—robbed the register at work—
cheated on his wife as he assumed she did
on him. When his kids, who'd sworn to care
for him, shipped him off to Serenity Home,
he barely blinked. He spends his days there
cursing his nurses; his nights, praying
God will send an angel with a golden key
to open heaven, where his mother waits
to tell him, with a big smile, "There. You see?"
Charles Harper Webb's latest book,
Shadow Ball: New & Selected Poems, was published by the University of Pittsburgh Press in 2009. What Things Are Made Of, also from the University of Pittsburgh Press, is forthcoming.
Recipient of grants from the Whiting and Guggenheim foundations,
Webb directs Creative Writing at California State University, Long
Beach.